October 06, 2010

The winds of change... and I don't mean Autumn

So i'm having a quarter life crisis... In the words of miss Angelica, "My life has changed so much and I am not the person I was two years ago, much less 5 years ago. I am struggling to bridge who I was with who I am now. I am so many things to so many people. But, I haven't a clue who or what I am to myself. I feel like am I loosing myself just as much as I am finding myself."

I think everyone goes thru this, its just a matter of either facing and moving foward; or facing it and either ignoring it or living in the past. I'm going to choose the first.

To reflect.. in cleaning up my hard drive, I came across some pictures of my younger, colorfuly rebelious, insecure, absent minded, inconsiderate, un-tattooed, living in the now self.

and yes... my hair is pink

I used to go to concerts ALL THE TIME... I was at some kind of music venue about 3-4 nights a week... I was so sure that my way was the right way. I knew what I wanted and I went out and got it (well that part hasnt changed). I thought I was going to be a tattoo artist in las vegas and that was that.

and ya know after having my daughter I realized what is really important. If you would have told me 6 years ago that I would be Married, have a child, own a tattoo shop, have my own Gourmet Jam Company, and live in NEBRASKA.... I would have told you you were out of ur f*cking skull.

But I love it here. I have an AWESOME husband. Have in-laws who dont drive me crazy. A beautiful healthy daughter. I've learned to preseve foods, scrapebook, and quilt(again). I can have my own house and GARDEN!!! AND I get to fish whenever I feel the urge.

Its wierd to go from doing things becuase other people think they are cool. To figureing out what YOU actually like and realizing how drastically different the two are.

I know that the future has many more twists and turns ahead. But whatever comes my way I'll hopefully know how to deal with it. I think the universe only gives you as much as you can handle, even though it may not seem like it at the time.